November 2012
7 posts
4 tags
there’s a lot of things in your life that you could probably do if you put your brain towards it
Nov 14th
2 notes
3 tags
because the internet is about watching people do things you wish that you were doing
Nov 10th
9 notes
5 tags
nothing is sexier than a phallic table lamp
Nov 9th
5 notes
3 tags
walls are like friends a good wall supports you even when you’re drunk
Nov 8th
6 notes
Nov 7th
75 notes
5 tags
Dearest Rebecca Black, You have nice teeth. (I’m not trying to come onto you sexually)
Nov 7th
4 notes
5 tags
I wonder what Mariah Carey’s doing right now
Nov 7th
5 notes
October 2012
4 posts
Oct 30th
482 notes
4 tags
i like my eggs like i don’t like my animals - poached
Oct 22nd
4 notes
4 tags
Why do we have appendixes? Appendixes should only be in books. And even then, are they necessary?
Oct 12th
3 notes
2 tags
3rd is the 2nd loser which is worse than being the 1st loser
Oct 11th
4 notes
September 2012
2 posts
4 tags
A little bit of sugar is sweet. A lot of sugar and you’ve got diabetes.
Sep 28th
4 notes
3 tags
I like to call my kitchen the vagina couch.
Sep 21st
4 notes
August 2012
3 posts
7 tags
Always be learning education. Make yourself ABLE.
Aug 27th
4 notes
10 tags
What if once a month for a week you had chocolate pudding running out of your dick? How would you deal with that? Would you be Captain Rational all the time?
Aug 24th
12 notes
6 tags
OW. You're as hot as a ballsack in a microwave.
Aug 3rd
2 notes
July 2012
14 posts
5 tags
Say "excuse me" because you weren't raised in a...
Jul 27th
22 notes
5 tags
Preheating your oven was invented by a herd of...
Jul 23rd
11 notes
6 tags
I feel like J-Lo was wearing a regular, fully...
Jul 22nd
5 notes
4 tags
Nicki Minaj looks like a Tokyo toy store exploded...
Jul 20th
13 notes
5 tags
Pants are a figment of a lot of peoples'...
Jul 19th
9 notes
1 tag
Jul 18th
149,869 notes
3 tags
Great job, Grace, at rolling that clip. You are...
……. Say no to drugs.
Jul 17th
3 notes
2 tags
I don't need eggs in my face; I have eggs in my...
Jul 16th
7 notes
6 tags
Monday is the P without the Diddy.
Jul 16th
7 notes
4 tags
When in Greece, put some squiggly dots on your...
Jul 13th
3 notes
3 tags
You smell like diabetes.
Jul 6th
11 notes
4 tags
@mattHRCcarolan: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS !!!
Grace: Obamacare.
Jul 4th
4 notes
6 tags
Numbers are just our imagination creating...
Jul 3rd
6 notes
8 tags
Jul 1st
33 notes
June 2012
4 posts
4 tags
Who the f*ck names their child Channing Tatum?...
Jun 27th
15 notes
5 tags
Are you half-Pokemon, half-Asian? 'Cause you are...
Jun 19th
8 notes
5 tags
Dying is the opposite of thinking something is...
Jun 4th
6 notes
7 tags
Tequila's a lot like sex. You start with the...
Jun 4th
7 notes
April 2012
7 posts
2 tags
Puns are like a lollipop. & I'm just a sucker for...
Apr 19th
7 notes
4 tags
ACCI-OH MY GAAHH.
Apr 18th
1 note
6 tags
Why do we give the most acid trippy nursery rhymes...
Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle the cow jumped over the moon.
Apr 17th
4 notes
5 tags
(Game Of Thrones) - HBO, for Hoes. Butts. &...
Apr 16th
2 notes
5 tags
(Game Of Thrones) - You can put porn on TV if you...
…Not like that
Apr 16th
4 notes
2 tags
My butt has all the AIDS.
Apr 12th
3 notes
4 tags
You gotta go to the store and buy some yogurt...
Apr 9th
8 notes
March 2012
4 posts
3 tags
I learned that there are 2 things in this world...
Mar 20th
9 notes
Mar 14th
702 notes
3 tags
Someone get a cage cause we got some party animals...
Mar 6th
4 tags
Omega-3s are good for you because they say that in...
Mar 1st
4 notes
February 2012
14 posts
7 tags
"How do you cook crystal meth?" Why would you want...
Feb 29th
1 note
3 tags
Why put a tablecloth on a table when you can put...
Feb 28th
3 notes
6 tags
A new sex position? I'd call it the HOUR GLASS....
Feb 26th
7 notes
5 tags
The worst thing is being out in a social situation...
Feb 23rd
5 notes
4 tags
You need painkillers - I suggest Midol extra...
Feb 23rd
5 notes